Okay, if you’re going to read this thinking about all the other attacks and deaths there are in the world and sue me for only talking about Manchester, stop reading and keep scrolling.
I’ve been feeling sick and torn all day thinking about what happened last night. It is known that since 2013-ish, although my physical body lives at home with my family, concerts have always been the only safe place my heart recognized. The Bataclan attack in Paris was the first attack that made my brain or, to be honest, my fears crack that place of peace (just a little crack). But with time, I found the strength to not let that fear take over. But then yesterday happened. Yesterday destroyed it.
When I woke up this morning to the confirmation that it was a terrorist attack, where 22 people have lost their life doing what they love, doing what I love, it woke all the anxiety I fought so hard to shut down. Some of the witness that commented were parents that only came to pick up their kids but ended up being injured (that could be my father who does this at least once a month). Since Ariana Grande has a very young fandom, some of the killed were particularly young (some 6 and 8 years old). And I hear all those comments, people reminding us that this is what some countries goes through everyday and it just kills me inside. How are we not already in hell ?
It’s also very frustrating to realize how helpless I can feel in this situation. I want my safe place to be safe again. I want concerts to be remember for being loud and happy, chaos and poetic and not being a place of terror. I want my parents to be at peace when I go to my happy place. What should I do, where should I sign for all those killing to stop ?
And last but not least, because they are the number one concerned, when will the people be more important to the politics than their bank accounts ? Or Oil ?
My thoughts and prayers goes to all the victims and their families. I know no words nor anything can make it right for them.